Then it all turned black
by Miss P
Summary: Booth saves Brennan's life, but can he save his own?
1. Chapter 1

**Then it all turned black**  
_  
By Miss P_

Summary: Booth saves Brennan's life, but can he save his own?

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones

Written in Booth's POV

_XxxxX_

The bullet sailed through the air in slow motion, still making its way toward her dangerously fast. I screamed at her to move, but she didn't seem to react. The bullet came closer, and then she finally turned to look at me. I screamed again, my voice filled with fear and panic.

I realized then, that it was too late. The bullet was going to hit her. Without thinking I threw myself in front of it. I didn't think of the pain it would cause me, and maybe that was good, because if I had I wasn't sure I would have done it so easily. But right then the only thing I could think of was keeping her safe.

Sharp pain shot though my chest as the bullet pierced the flesh. I staggered, trying desperately to keep myself from falling. I didn't want this to happen to me. The pain was strong; I couldn't focus at anything else. I felt myself falling backward, the ground coming closer all too fast. New pain spread across my back as I hit the ground, but it was over fast. The pain in the chest making it impossible to feel anything else.

"_Booth!" _I felt her hands on me, trying desperately to stop the blood from flowing. _"Someone call 911!"_ she yelled. But I knew no one would hear her. We were alone. I could only hope that the shooter had escaped. My life was in danger, I knew that, but I couldn't stand the thought of hers being threatened too.

She seemed to realize it then. The hands left me and she fumbled for her mobile. Her hands were trembling to badly she had to start over several times before she could punch the numbers in right.

After giving directions to the ambulance, she turned the attention back to me. _"The ambulance is on its way,"_ she informed, then pressed her hands to the wound and I cried out in pain. She flinched, but kept holding on.

"_You will be okay,"_ she repeated the words over and over like a mantra. Almost as if she was trying to convince herself that they were true. I wasn't so sure though. My eyelids felt heavy and everything seemed blurred. My whole head was spinning and for a while I was afraid I would actually throw up.

"_Booth, look at me, don't give up they will be here soon,"_ she cried. I realized my eyes were closed. Opening them again required the strength I no longer had. But I did it with pure willpower. I had to see her again.

"Bones," I choked out. My mouth tasted weird and I coughed. Blood, I realized trickled from my lips. She gasped then. _"No,"_ she breathed. _"No."_

"Bones," I tried again. I wasn't sure she could actually hear me.

"_Booth,"_ she sobbed out. _"Don't leave me, you have to fight."_

I wanted to do that, but I felt so weak. Pain was all over me now, I could barely breathe. I realized I was going to die.

She must have realized it too, because at that moment, she stopped fighting against the blood still leaving my body. Instead she wrapped her arms around me, lifting my upper body so I was lying in her lap. She held me tight, not even bothering to hide the tears. I felt them drop onto my face. My own eyes filled with tears and a few found their way through the lashes and rolled down my cheeks.

_"I'm sorry,"_ she cried. _"It should have been me, you saved my life."_

I wanted to speak, but I couldn't bring myself to even move my lips. I had told her once that would I die for her. I still meant it, even though the sentence suddenly felt all too real.

"Don't…" I managed to mumble. "… blame yourself…"

She seemed to know how much of an effort it was for me to talk, and shushed me, gently placing a finger over my mouth, then she let it glide across my cheek. Her skin felt warm and wonderful against mine.

"_God,"_ she whispered at last. _"If you exist, which you most certainly don't… let Booth live. Let him live."_ Her voice came out muffled as she tried to hold back loud, desperate sobs.

I couldn't hold on much longer. I'd been fighting for too long already. The excruciating pain had slowly started to subside. It didn't go away, but the sharp edge of it had faded, and for a moment I thought I had already died. But her voice was still there, she was sobbing, begging me to come back.

I wanted to; I tried with all I had. But the strength just wasn't enough. I couldn't even open my eyes, let alone speak. It was impossible. It was like I no longer had control over my body, it just wouldn't move no matter how badly I wanted it to.

From somewhere far away I could hear the sirens of an ambulance. But it was _too_ far away.

"_Booth!"_ she shook me. _"Booth, it's here soon, the ambulance is here. BOOTH!" _

Her voice sounded strange. It was like I was hearing it through a thick layer of water. It just couldn't reach me.

Everything was too far away now. I realized, with a pang of regret, that it hadn't been worth it. All the pain and struggling to stay alive – for her. It had all been in vain. _I will die for you, _was the last thought that went through my mind. Then... it all turned black.

XxxxX

**_THE __END (?) _**

_A/N: This was meant as a oneshot, but I don't know. What do you think? _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two.**

From far, far away I slowly started to become aware of a strange beeping sound. I didn't like it. It annoyed me, tainted the beautiful moment Brennan and I shared. We were lying, wrapped together, her arms holding me tight and her warm skin felt soft and comforting against mine. She kissed me, so tenderly, but at the same time so passionately. A soft moan escaped my lips as she pulled away so she could look down at me.

The beeping grew louder, and I tried to push it away. To ignore it. I didn't want to find out what if was. I had everything I'd ever wanted right here in my arms. Our bodies tangled up, joined as one. I couldn't ask for more. But I felt… strange. It was almost as if something was pulling me away from her. I held on, with all I had.

"Don't let me go," I murmured.

"Never," she whispered back.

But she did. All of the sudden she was gone, and I ached for her to come back. I screamed her name, but there was nothing there. Everything was dark and it felt like I was soaring, drifting, with no specific journey ahead of me.

Mumbling voices filled my head but I couldn't make out any words. The beeping was so shrill now that it almost hurt. I wanted back to Brennan's warm embrace. Wherever I was now, it was cold and terrifying. Strange, unidentified noises swirled around me. Something felt uncomfortable, but I couldn't really tell what. I just knew that something was wrong. My chest felt sore, a pulling and stretching kind of feeling. And it hurt. I wanted to get away from it all, to be back in that warmth and comfort of her bed.

It suddenly hit me, there was no bed, no Brennan, no love-making. Not even a kiss. Everything that had felt so real had simply been a product of my own imagination. I wanted to cry when I thought of it, and maybe I did. I couldn't really tell.

"_He's starting to come around."_Someone said then.

"_Thank G__od, I thought we'd lose him."_

"_It's really a miracle that he didn't die out there, with those injuries."_

"_Yes, a miracle." _I felt a hand on my face, someone checking my eyes. White light filled them, hurting me with its sharpness. Then the hand went way and that soothing darkness came back._ "Mr Booth? Can you hear me?"_

I wanted to answer her, but I couldn't find my voice, let alone move anything. Not even the fingers wanted to obey. I gave up, sighing mentally.

_Bones_, I thought. Where was Bones?

Almost as if my thought were heard, someone spoke.

"_Dr. __Zavier, will you inform Mr. __Booth's people."_

"_Sure Dr. Green, I'll go right now." _

I could hear footsteps and a door opening, then closing. Dr. Green, I assumed, stood by my bed, I could hear something being moved around, and then the hands were on my body again. They poked and probed and I hated every second of it. It wasn't just the fact that it was awkward, it also hurt. A lot. I wanted those hands off of my chest, but I couldn't even move.

"_There,"_ the doctor finally said. The hands left. _"You're as good as new Mr. Booth."_

"_It's Agent Booth, actually."_ A voice corrected and I wanted to smile. I would recognize that lovely voice everywhere. Even when I was half dead.

"_Special Agent,"_ she whispered and I could easily hear the emotion in her voice. She came closer, I could hear her light footsteps and then, finally, she took my hand in hers and held it.

Bones, my Bones. I wanted so desperately to see her, but my eyes wouldn't open.

"_Booth? Can you hear me?"_ she whispered. _"Can he hear me?" _

"_I'm not sure Dr. Brennan. He's stabilized for now, but there might take a while until he wakes up completely. I'll leave you alone for a while, you can talk to him."_

There was a long silence, then the door finally closed and I assumed the doctor had left us there. Brennan kept my hand in hers. The free hand ran across my arm, lingering on my shoulder before it went away, only to reappear on my chest. Her fingers felt light and soft as they traced the outline of the bandage.

"_Booth?"_ she tried again. _"I don't know if you can hear me,"_ she paused and sighed sadly. She sniveled then and if I could I would have gasped. _"I was so afraid,"_ she whispered. _"I thought you were going to die, I thought I'd lose you."_ She had obviously decided I couldn't hear her, or else I had a feeling she wouldn't speak to me the way she did. She leaned in and placed a soft, featherlike kiss on my cheek. _"I love you," _she spoke the words so low I wasn't sure I had heart it right. I was stunned, certain now that she was convinced I was too far away to hear a word of what she was telling me.

I felt the corners of my mouth twitch a little as I tried to smile. A soft intake of breath from her made me realize she had seen it. Then, she gasped as realization hit. A long and painful silence followed, one that I would have loved to break, if I'd only could.

"_You can hear me, can't you?"_ she finally said. It was more like a statement than a question, so I felt no need to confirm.

XxxxX

TBC

_A/N: So much for a oneshot, right? : ) There will even be a third part!  
_  
_Well, I hope you like this chapter. Let me know ; )_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

_XxxxX_

She loves me.

_She loves me…_

My head was spinning and I felt happier than I had in a long time. It almost made me forget the situation I was in. But of course, she had to remind me.

"_Booth, just… open your eyes. Look at me_," she demanded. I wanted to laugh. Did she think I was lying there like a vegetable on my own free will? My body felt heavy, and I didn't have enough strength to move. Fear shot through me then, all too soon replacing the happiness. What if the strength wouldn't come back? Would I ever see Bones again? Would I ever get a chance to tell her I loved her too? I had died and been brought back. How long had I been away? Maybe long enough to cause permanent damage to my brain? What if… her lips against mine abruptly snapped me away from those tormenting thoughts. I couldn't kiss her back, but at this moment I was sure it was a good thing. The feelings shooting through my body were so strong I was afraid my heart rate would make the machines go wild. Why had she kissed me? The cheek or forehead would have been… predictable, but the lips? If I'd been able to talk in the first place, I would have been speechless now.

"_Seeing you die…"_ she began, and I cringed mentally. I had died… _"It made me realize a few things,"_ she said. _"I don't want to lose you without ever knowing how it would have been to have you in my life,"_ she confessed. _"And I don't mean as partners or friends."_

Bones. Oh Bones… how I wished I could tell her how much I wanted that too.

She sighed then and the hand holding mine suddenly left. Was she going away? I wanted to reach for her, but wasn't surprised when I realized I couldn't. I suddenly became aware of vague pain in my body, it wasn't much, but as the time went by it grew stronger, spreading through me all too fast. Along with the pain, came fear. This was not the regular ache in the chest. It was something else… and I was freezing. I felt cold and warm at the same time.

I heard a weird noise, it sounded almost like something was being dragged across the floor. It wasn't until I felt her hand in mine again, that I realized what she had done. The sound had come from a chair being pulled to my bed.

_Bones__,_ my mind was screaming at her, desperately needing her to notice whatever it was that was happening to me.

"_I'm right here,"_ she said, squeezing my hand. _"I'm not going anywhere," _

She seemed so calm. Was I imagining it all? Was the pain coming from the injury after all? I wanted to tell myself that if something was wrong, Bones would know…

_XxxxX_

I don't know how much time passed, but her fingers laced with mine loosened their grip and her hand went limp. I could feel a light movement next to me, then she was still. I could only assume she had fallen asleep. I was confused. It felt like no time at all had passed, but I had a feeling it had. My head felt blank, as if I was missing something. As if I had just woken up from a deep sleep. Something had happened, but I had no idea what, I just knew that something wasn't right… the pain was still there and it felt like I had a fever.

For a few seconds I didn't know where I was. But it all came back in a flood of painful memories. I could hear Brennan's soft and steady breathing as she was sleeping next to me. Her head was touching my side as she was resting it on the bed.

Once again I tried to open my eyes, and this time there was a little twitch and for a brief second I saw light. I tried again, the eyelids felt heavy as if they were glued together. I focused all my strength and the eyes finally fluttered open and bright whiteness momentarily blinded me. It hurt, and I had to close the eyes again. A few minutes later I gave it another shot and the light was just as bright. But it was bearable. That didn't stop my eyes from watering and a few salty drops rolled down my cheeks creating a glistening trail as they disappeared into the pillow.

I took in a deep breath, and my chest immediately ached by the sudden movement. If I could have moved or talked I would have asked for more medicine. I was sure the morphine was starting to wear off. Or maybe it was just me starting to become aware of my body in a way I hadn't been earlier.

A hoarse groan escaped my lips and for a moment I was surprised it had actually come from me.

"Bones?" I managed to choke out, and I wanted to smile, despite the pain. "Bones?" I tried again.

She stirred, but didn't wake up.

"Bones?" I asked in a small voice. I was almost desperate now; I wanted her… no _needed_ her to hear me.

It wasn't my voice she reacted to, I hadn't felt it myself, but I was sure my fingers had moved in her hand. She jerked her head up and stared at me with a look of… disbelief on her face.

"Hey," I whispered with a weak smile.

She stared for a long time, as if she couldn't believe what she saw. The confusion I'd felt earlier grew stronger. A chill went down my spine making me shudder. I didn't know why but I got this feeling that something was wrong. I had felt it earlier, but then I'd pushed those thoughts aside. It all came back now.

"What's wrong?" I asked in a small voice.

She smiled then and her face changed. "Booth," she whispered my name like a sigh, grabbing my hand and squeezed it tight. "You're awake."

I made a small nod. "I've been awake for quite a while Bones."

She made a sound that was a mix between a snort and an exhale. For a moment she seemed… amused almost, I was sure she was thinking of her little speech there she'd told me she loved me and wanted me. I smiled, but then her face turned serious and the smile on my lips died. She shook her head.

"You weren't awake Booth," she whispered.

"What? I was… I could hear you."

"I know," she sighed. "But after that… there were complications and you…" her voice trailed off and she sighed miserably. Her hand that wasn't holding mine softly stroked the skin on my face, finally coming to rest on my cheek. Her eyes gazed into mine and I could see all the love and affection for me shine through. A single tear rolled down her cheek, and finally, she spoke. "Booth, they told me you probably wouldn't wake up again. You were unconscious for nine days."

XxxxX

**_TBC_**

_A/N: So, I never planned for this story to be more than… well one chapter ; ) but I got this cool idea now. Hope you like it so far!  
_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four**

I couldn't believe what she was telling me. Nine days? It felt like… nine minutes. How could I have been unconscious for nine days? Brennan looked down at me, a sad and concerned look on her face. Seeing her like that made me fear what was to come. I was sure I wouldn't like whatever she was going to tell me. But she didn't speak and as the minutes ticked by I started to feel tired and weak. Keeping my eyes open was a battle I was determined I wouldn't lose. I had to see her; the darkness scared me, now more than ever. If I closed my eyes, I couldn't be sure they would open again.

"Bones, tell me," I whispered. "I feel… is it warm in here?"

She reached out to touch my forehead. She winced then, slowly taking the hand away. "You have a high fever, I'm calling the doctor."

"No," I managed to whisper. "I don't like the doctors."

Brennan smiled a small smile. "You are very sick Booth," she whispered.

"What? No... I'm..."

"You're suffering from sepsis, it is also known as blood poisoning. Your body isn't handling it so well."

I couldn't speak. I couldn't think. Her words echoed in my head, adding to the fear I had felt earlier.

"What does that mean… I mean I will… is it…" my voice trailed off. I felt dizzy.

"I wish I could tell you it will be okay, but I can't promise you something I have no way of knowing."

I snorted, or at least I tried. "That's encouraging, Bones," I mumbled.

She took my hand and squeezed it. "You're strong, you have to fight this. You have to fight Booth," she said and I could hear she was struggling to not cry.

I nodded. "I will. I'm not leaving…" the words died on my lips. My throat had suddenly tightened, I couldn't breathe. Gasping for air, I tried to finish my sentence. "I'm…" then I changed my mind. What I had been trying to tell her wasn't important. If I was going to die, I needed her to know what I felt for her. It couldn't be too late. "I need to tell you… something…I…" I couldn't go on. The whole world was spinning and I was burning. My skin was on fire. Breathing was almost nonexistent now. "Bones!" I managed to choke out.

Doctors came bursting into the room. One shoving Brennan aside as she tried to hold on to me. I felt her hand slip out of mine as someone dragged her away. She was screaming my name. Fear and panic made her voice sharp and desperate. It was the last thing I heard before the blackness once again took over.

XxxxX

The moment I opened my eyes, I knew that another amount of days had passed. She was sitting next to the bed, clutching my hand in both hers.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

She jumped; obviously she hadn't been aware of me awakening. "Booth," she breathed. "Thank God."

"I thought you didn't believe in him," I murmured tiredly.

She ignored my comment. "How are you feeling?"

"Don't know."

She nodded, accepting my answer, then she reached out, gently running her fingers through my hair. My eyes closed as I enjoyed the feeling. Her hand slipped down onto my forehead and I knew she could feel how warm my skin was. The fever was still burning in me, but at least I could breathe again. She let her hand rest on my cheek, and I leaned into it, sighing softly. Her skin against mine felt so good, I wanted this moment to last. It wasn't much, but right now it was as close to me as she could get. As much of her skin that I could feel. She must have sensed my thought, because she didn't remove the hand.

"My Bones," I murmured.

"What?"

"You're my Bones, you know. Without you I…" my voice trailed off. "I'd die."

"Booth what…"

I shushed her. "You once said your most meaningful relationships are with the dead, now when I've been there, maybe we could…" this time I was cut off.

"Been where? What are…"

"To the other side… you know… death?" I gazed up at her with tired eyes. She looked… confused.

"The fever is making you…"

"Stop." I cut her off. I felt bad enough without her reminding me of the fever.

"Booth," she began, and then hesitated before she went on. "I know you heard me when I said… certain things to you. You know I…" she sighed.

"Did you mean it?"

"Yes, every word."

"I want that too. I want _you_." I confessed. I was surprised at how good it felt to finally say it out loud. Now, there was only one more thing I needed to tell her. The three words I've been dying to tell her from the moment I woke up that first time after being shot, but never got the chance to say. "Bones, I…" the door opened and Dr. Green entered. The words I had been trying to say died on my lips.

XxxxX

_**TBC**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five**

I was disappointed. I had been so close to tell her I love her, but the doctor had ruined the moment. Brennan had been forced to step aside as Dr. Green changed the bandages and checked all sorts of things on me. He told me something about increasing the amount of antibiotics, my body didn't respond to the medicine and the sepsis needed to be cured as fast as possible or they were afraid my condition would worsen. I didn't want to hear any of this, and simply closed my eyes. I was so tired that it wasn't hard to ignore the doctor as he went on.

"Mr. Booth?" he finally asked. Had he realized I wasn't listening? I sighed, opening my eyes and looked up at him tiredly.

"What?" I muttered.

"I just told you about…"

I cut him off. "I heard you," I snapped. It was a lie of course. But I just couldn't bear to have him go through all of that again. It was depressing as it was, and I didn't need the doctor to make everything worse.

"Booth, why are you being so rude?" Brennan chastised, and I grimaced. I never meant to snap at the doctor. I was just tired and in pain. Socializing was the last thing on my mind, all I wanted was to be left alone. Or… to be left alone with Bones…

The doctor smiled, kindly. "Let me know if you need anything," he said to me before he turned to head back to wherever he'd come from. I sighed in relief.

If it hadn't been for the fever still burning inside of me, and the nausea which I guessed was a side effect to the antibiotics, I would have felt good. I was alive and Bones was right there with me.

I turned to look at her. She was staring down at her mobile, which of course she wasn't allowed to have. She frowned and a puzzled look flashed over her face. She sighed, and finally turned to look at me. "Booth, I have to go back to the Jeffersonian. I don't know what this means," she waved the phone in front of her. "But they say it's important."

"What is it?"

"I don't know, it didn't say, I don't recognize the phone number. But I'll be back as soon as I can, ok?" she shoved the phone back into her pocket and stood.

I nodded, once again feeling disappointed.

Hesitating for a brief second, she walked over to my bed, taking my hand in hers and squeezed it.

"Get better," she whispered, leaning down to brush a soft kiss against my cheek. "I'll be right back."

I nodded, giving her a small smile. Her hand let go of mine, and I watched as she disappeared through the door. "I love you," I whispered to the empty room, wishing so badly that she had stayed a little bit longer. I just wanted her to know. Why was it that I always seemed to miss my chance? Sighing, miserably I slumped against the bed and closed my eyes. I had wanted to be strong for Bones, but now she was gone and I didn't need to pretend. I felt horrible. Maybe if I just tried to sleep, it would all be better when I woke up again. Somehow I doubted that, but the thought comforted me, and I soon found myself drifting off.

XxxxX

Waking up, I immediately realized something had happened. The moment I opened my eyes I saw Angela looking back at me. I frowned. "Hey," I whispered a bit confused.

"Hi Booth," she smiled. "How are you feeling?"

I shrugged, or well… tried to shrug.

"Do you know where Brennan is?" she asked.

I didn't understand. Hadn't Bones gone to the Jeffersonian? When had that been? How long had I been sleeping? "I thought she was with you," I finally said.

Angela shook her head. "I got worried when she didn't answer her phone and I figured she was with you, but… "

"She was… until she got that text message from the Jeffersonian, she left… and I uh… slept."

Angela looked horrified, and the fear immediately shot up inside of me too.

"She has these weeks off, so she could stay with you. She didn't like the idea but I more or less decided it for her," Angela smiled. Her face turned serious just as fast. "No one at the Jeffersonian would ask for her now. Not with you being so sick and everything."

If I hadn't felt so miserable, I would have complained. I wasn't _that_ sick, was I? Instead I snorted.

"Then where is she?" I finally asked.

Angela shook her head. "I've checked her apartment, she's not there. I'm sure she wouldn't leave without telling you, she loves you way too much for that," Angela mused.

I couldn't stop a smile from taking form on my lips. "I know," I murmured.

"You know?"

"She told me."

"Oh my god!" Angela exclaimed. "I can't believe she told you. Did you say it back?"

"Never got the chance," I muttered, suddenly feeling awkward.

She just nodded, her face once again turning serious. "I don't like this, I have a bad feeling."

I grimaced, hating to hear her say that. I just didn't want to face the truth. It was too much for me to handle. Bones had to be fine. There was just no way she could be in trouble. Not now, not when there was nothing I could do to help her. I was stuck at the hospital, weaker than I'd ever felt before. How was I supposed to help Bones? Because, surely I had to. I couldn't just lie here and do nothing while her life could be in danger.

"What can I do?"

Angela just shook her head. "You can't do anything Booth," she said sadly.

"Don't say that! I have to… I… I can't…she's my Bones… I have to…" my voice was weak, on the verge of breaking. I cursed mentally. How could I be so pathetic? I was almost crying for God's sake. Angela must think I'm a complete idiot.

She rested a hand on my arm, looking down at me sympathetically. "I know," she whispered. "We'll figure something out. Brennan will be okay."

I was certain she didn't believe that herself, but I appreciated what she was trying to do. Only it didn't make me feel any better. Not at all.

XxxxX

**_TBC_**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six**

Another two days drifted by and it felt like an eternity for me. Just waiting and hoping, praying to God that Bones was okay. Angela had reported her missing and I guessed both her team and the FBI were working on finding her. Everyone was doing what they could, everyone but me.

I resented myself for being so weak. I wanted to be out there doing something. But instead I was lying here in a bed just staring up at the ceiling when everyone else worked. I was sure they wanted her back, Angela especially. But I doubted any of them were suffering the way I was. I loved her, Bones was my whole world. I had died for her, and would gladly do it again if I had to. To not be able to help her now was killing me.

My cell phone buzzed suddenly and just as I was about to pick it up, a doctor entered. I hid it again, knowing that they would probably take it from me if they saw me use it again after they'd told me I couldn't.

"How are you feeling today Mr. Booth?" Dr. Green was smiling at me. I wanted to roll my eyes or snort, but did none of those things. Instead I just smiled back.

"I don't know," I said honestly. I could no longer tell if it was the disease or the worry making me sick. It couldn't tell the doctor that though.

He nodded. "I can see that your fever hasn't dropped much, but you are responding to the antibiotics. I can't tell how long it will take until you're completely restored, but it's looking good."

I managed a weak smile. "That's good." It did sound positive, but why the hell did I feel so strange then? I'd had a fever before, and sure it's never that much fun, but now I felt dizzy, cold and sweaty at the same time, and my whole body was aching. I just couldn't see any good in it. And top that off with the constant worry that was eating at me, good seemed very far away at the moment.

"I'm going to increase the amount of antibiotics a bit more to speed up the progress. You might feel nauseous and get a stomach ache. But that's nothing to worry about."

This time I did snort. Dr. Green gave me a look, but didn't say anything. God, how I hated this. I didn't want a stomach ache, and I definitely didn't need the nausea to increase. It was bad as it was.

The doctor left then and I grabbed the mobile, flipping it opened. I stared at the number on the display. It was nothing I recognized. Holding my breath, I opened the awaiting message, preparing for the worst.

I stared at it, first not understanding. It simply read _"a man has me, help" _It took several seconds for my fevered mind to get what it meant. It was from Bones, and it seemed like she had been in a hurry to write it. Or else I was sure she would have been more descriptive.

For a moment I felt paralyzed. When the shock had worn off I finally managed to think again. I knew the number by heart, and was soon talking to the FBI tech lab, having them trace the phone number wouldn't take long. Still, as I lay there waiting it felt like an eternity.

Finally I got a call, and an address. I didn't think after that, my whole being ached to be with Bones again, to help her. Acting on pure instinct, and probably a fair amount of adrenalin, I sat and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. Realizing I was hooked up to several different machines made me stop and frown. But only for a second, then I tore all the wires and needles off, barely managing to hold back a scream at the sudden unexpected pain they caused me. Ignoring it, I got to my feet.

The room was swaying and for a moment I was afraid I'd pass out. Fighting against the blackness I stumbled to the closet I knew they had stored my clothes in. It was a miracle I managed to take jeans and a shirt on without falling over or throwing up, and as I was heading out the door, I ran straight into Dr. Green.

He gasped, catching hold of me. The shocked look on his face made me realize I probably didn't look too healthy. But I couldn't care less.

"Mr. Booth what are you doing up?" Dr. Green almost yelled. He started to lead me back into the room. "You are not in any condition…"

I cut him off. "My partner needs me I have to…"

"No, you need to lie back down and…"

My fist hit his face and he stumbled into the nearest wall. I almost fell too from the sudden impact and my head started to spin even worse. I couldn't move, couldn't see.

But I could hear Dr. Green getting back onto his feet. I had no time to waste. Ignoring the disorienting blur I stumbled through the door and ran down the hall, praying it was the right direction. Only Bones mattered to me now. I couldn't let anyone hurt her. I had to save her… had to get to her…

XxxxX

Standing outside of an apartment complex, I barely remembered getting there. I had a vague memory of catching a cab, then everything was blurry. I had no idea of where I was, I could only hope I had given the driver the right address.

I entered into a deserted hall and scanned the place for an elevator. There wasn't any. Not wasting any time I ran for the stairs, not caring about the fact that I could barely stand at all.  
My whole body hurt, I didn't know what was worst, the wound in my chest, my stomach or every other part of me. With every step the blood was pumping faster through my body and I felt it run through my veins, briefly reminding me of the blood poisoning. My heart was beating so fast now, that for a moment I was afraid I'd get a heart attack.

I reached the top floor, breathing hard and raspy. I leaned against the wall for support, allowing myself a few seconds of rest. As I stood there, the nausea rolled over me stronger now than ever and this time I couldn't stop it.

Moments later I straightened up, stumbling to the door. I knocked, feeling like an idiot because of it. But what else could I do, especially in this state?

A man who looked like he was in his mid thirties opened. He had blonde hair, that looked like it hadn't been washed for ages, and the clothes clung a little too tight to his oversized belly.

"Who are you?" he asked suspiciously. "You don't look so good, are you sick or something?"

"Or something," I muttered, grabbing the door and threw it opened. The blonde yelled something at me, trying to grab me as I pushed past him into the apartment.

"Bones!" I yelled, "Bones, I'm here."

"What the hell are you doing man?" the blonde followed me like a tail, seeming more and more confused as I searched through the apartment. "There's no one here, I was watching TV."

I finally stopped. "Huh?" I stared at man as the truth slowly started to dawn on me.

"If you're searching for that author? I saw her with my neighbor, damn she's pretty."

"Oh God," I mumbled, embarrassed. "Wrong door."

XxxxX

**_TBC_**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter seven**

Making my way out of the blonde's apartment and knocking on the door opposite of the hall took about all strength I had left. I was leaning against the door as it opened. I straightened, swaying as I stood.

"Hey what are…." A man stared at me, redheaded and with trashy clothes that revealed more muscles than I had hoped for. He seemed to recognize me then, and tried shutting the door.

I managed to shove a foot inside. "FBI, get away from the door," I tried to sound harsh, but doubted that I was doing it with much success.

The man laughed, confirming my thought. "What could you do, you look like you'll pass out any second," he sneered.

"I could do… this," I may be weak, but I wasn't dead. There was no way I would give up without a fight. My fist hit the redheads' nose and he stumbled into the room, staggering and then fell.

I followed him inside. "Bones!" I called out.

"Booth!" she yelled back. "I'm in here, I'm tied up."

I ran toward the voice, forgetting everything else. As I felt something hard hit my head, I realized I should have paid more attention to the man. My legs gave way under me and I felt myself losing consciousness. White pain shot through my upper body. I didn't know what had happened, but guessed that the bastard had kicked me. I hit the floor hard.

"Booth!" Brennan yelled. "Booth what happened?" her voice sounded far away but I held on to it… needing desperately to get to it. I had to fight. I forced my eyes open, just in time to see a foot coming toward me. I tried to roll away, but wasn't fast enough. It hit my chest, and I screamed out the pain that shot through me.

Along with the pain came rage. I couldn't let this man do this to me, to her. I was going to kill him for hurting Bones. Of course, at the moment I had no idea of what he had done to her, but if he had even laid one dirty finger on her, I _would_ kill him.

Another foot flew toward me, and this time I caught it, yanking it toward me. I watched as he fell backward, his head hitting the floor with a sickening crack.

I rolled over to my side, slowly making it to a sitting position. A pool of blood had already taken form around him. I stared, suddenly feeling sick again. I swallowed, grimacing at the taste in my mouth. I brought a hand to it, wiping it across the lips. When I looked at the hand, it was red and sticky. Blood, I realized.

"Booth?" her voice snapped me back to reality. I got back up on my feet and took a few steps toward the room I knew she was in. My head was spinning, I saw black and white flashes in front of my eyes. My brain felt thick and slow. I couldn't think, couldn't move or see. I stumbled and almost fell, but managed to catch a wall. Leaning heavily against it, I tried desperately to fight the growing nausea. If I hadn't known better I would have thought I'd been shot again. I felt almost as bad, but this time it wasn't just the chest. Pain was all over me.

Using the wall for support I managed a few more steps and soon found myself in the doorway to a bedroom.

"Bones," I whispered. "I'm here it's going to be okay." I'd wanted to calm her, but it seemed like my words had the opposite effect because she gasped, shrieking my name almost hysterically. I didn't understand.

"Don't worry baby," I murmured weakly, still clinging to doorframe. "He won't hurt you no more."

"Booth," she choked out. "You shouldn't have left the hospital. God you're…" her voice broke and it wasn't until then I understood. She wasn't worried about herself. Hearing the fear in her voice made me wonder how bad I looked.

"Can you get to the bed?" she asked then, and I looked at her, for the first time truly seeing her. She was staring back at me with a shocked look on her face. Her hands were tied to the bedposts, but she looked alright.

"Booth, come on you should sit down." I could hear her but I just couldn't respond. My eyes closed and I felt my hands start to slip. "Booth!" she called "Seeley!"

"I'll hold you…" I mumbled.

"Wh… what? Booth please!" she almost yelled, squirming, desperately trying to break free. "Booth, you have to call an ambulance."

"Mmm your hair is so soft." I didn't know what I was saying anymore. My body had started to shake and I was freezing. I didn't understand, how could it have turned so cold all of the sudden? At a distance I could hear her yelling my name again. Her voice was so far away. I was so tired, the pain and nausea still going strong inside of me. Desperately wanting to get to her and free her, I let go of the door and moved. I managed to reach the foot of the bed and grabbed the bedpost, holding on to it as my legs started to buckle. My grip loosened and I sunk to the floor.

I could hear Brennan yell my name, then it all turned black, again.

XxxxX

**_TBC_**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter ****eight**

Someone was touching me. I slowly became aware of voices talking, maybe to me, I couldn't tell. Hands were on my face, they felt cold and comforting.

I could hear my name whispered softly, the hands caressing my cheeks. Forcing my eyes open, I turned my head so I could see who this person was. Everything was blurred, and my head started to spin from the movement. Fighting back the nausea and pain, I smiled up at her.

"Bones," I whispered. "How did you…" my voice trailed off as my eyes fell on the blonde man from the apartment next door. He was staring, star-stricken at Brennan. So, I guess I should be glad he had come to our rescue, but something about the way he eyed her annoyed me.

What made me feel better though, was the way she was ignoring him, focusing all her attention and worry toward me. Her beautiful blue eyes were turned on me, and I could see all the love compassion burning in them.

"Help will be here soon, it's going to be okay," she whispered. "Ted called for backup, he also untied me," she added, shooting the blonde an appreciative look. He swooned, and I had to smile at the goofy grin on his lips. He was obviously a fan, which made me think of the redhead I had rendered unconscious, just before managing to pass out myself.

"What did… did he hurt you?"

Brennan shook her head. "He was just… strange," she said. "He wanted to keep me as some sort of pet. He said he wanted to watch me," she frowned, obviously recalling the days she had been captured. I wanted to hold her and comfort her; no matter what she made it sound like, I was certain she was upset and afraid. Reaching out a hand was about as much as I could manage though. She took my hand, holding it tight.

"I'm okay," she whispered as if she'd known what I had been thinking. "I'm more concerned about you at the moment. You look horrible."

"Thanks for that Bones," I mumbled, suddenly feeling too weak to even talk. I knew I was on the verge of losing consciousness again. It had happened way to many times lately, and I had gotten used to the feeling. But I refused to give in to the darkness now. I couldn't scare Bones like that again. She had been through enough already. I had to stay strong, for her.

But I realized she had learned to interpret the signs as well. I could see it in her eyes long before she spoke. The fear radiating off of her just made me want to fight even harder.

"Booth, what's wrong? How are you feeling?" her voice was trembling with held back emotions. "Stay with me," she begged. "The ambulance will be here soon."

I was fighting in a losing battle; but I just didn't want to admit it, to give up.

Gazing up at her with tired eyes, I saw Ted laying a hand on her shoulder. She flinched.

"I'll go check if they're on their way," he said and stood. Brennan nodded stiffly. "Thanks."

The flinch stayed with me, reminding me that she was not okay. Thousands of possibilities went through my head. What if that bastard had done something to her that she didn't want to tell me?

"Bones," I whispered.

"Yes?" she leaned closer so she could hear me.

"What did he do, honestly?"

She just shook her head. "Nothing."

I couldn't know whether she was telling the truth or not, but let the subject drop for now. This was something we would have to talk about later, I was sure of that.

"Bones," I said again.

"No," she said. "I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"But… I wasn't… I just…" my voice trailed off and I sighed weakly. "Hey," I whispered, needing her to look at me. "I love you," I finally said.

She stared at me, eyes wide. She opened her mouth to speak but I cut her off.

"It's not the fever; I know you're gonna say it's the fever talking, but it's not. I really love you. I've wanted to tell you now for so long, I can't wait I can't risk missing the moment again, I love you," once I was finished I was exhausted, suspecting that maybe it _had_ been the fever making me ramble like an idiot. But I didn't care. I had said it, finally. It felt good.

"Oh Booth," she whispered at last. A small smile was playing on her lips as she leant down to place a kiss on mine. She pulled away almost as fast, but her hand lingered on my face. I leaned into her, letting my eyes close.

XxxxX

When I opened them again, Bones wasn't there. Panic shot through me and I tried to sit up, only to be pushed down by a strong and firm hand.

"Bones?" I asked. "Where is Bones?"

"Dr. Brennan is in the waiting room."

"The… what?" it wasn't until then I actually paid attention to the man next to me, immediately recognizing his as Dr. Green. I sighed, realizing it meant I was back at the hospital.

How could I have missed everything? Last thing I remembered was Bones' kiss and her hand against my cheek, then everything was blank. Had I passed out after all?

"I need to see her," I once again tried to sit.

"No," Dr. Green said firmly. "You are not going anywhere. You almost got yourself killed last time you left this bed. You should be glad you're still alive."

I stared at him. He wore a grim, almost annoyed expression on his face. I frowned, not understanding what it meant. Then, his words truly dawned on me; had I risked my life? But surely it had been worth it, if I hadn't done anything Bones would still have been tied to that bed. Well, I realized now, that of course I could have let the FBI handle it, but it wouldn't have been the same. Bones meant too much to me, I couldn't just leave her with someone else and hope she would be alright.

Still looking at him, I suddenly realized his left eye was swollen and purple. I stared as the memory of punching him slowly came to mind. The bruise was placed exactly where my fist had hit him. I cringed, wishing he would just go away. I didn't need this guilt, I felt bad enough already.

Averting my eyes, I remained silent as the doctor did his thing. Feeling his hands on my body, I closed my eyes again, hoping that when I opened them he would be gone and Bones would be back, by my side.

XxxxX

**_TBC_**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter ****nine**

Another week passed by, and when a new day and a new week started I was beginning to think that this would never end. I felt better but the nausea was still there, and the stomach-ache Dr. Green had warned about was slowly driving me crazy. There was nothing to do about it, and the daily refill of my medicine didn't make it any better either.

But there was a light at the end of this tunnel - I was allowed to go home, on one condition; that I got someone to stay with me. I was sure Dr. Green didn't trust me enough to let me stay on my own, considering I had escaped and managed to reinjure myself in the fight with the redhead. And of course I had hit him in the eye. Surely, that didn't place me on the list of favorite patients.

None the less, I was going home, and I was actually able to ignore the nausea for a while as I got dressed. I was too happy to let it bring me down now. The tiredness tainted the happiness though, and as I had managed to get jeans and the shirt on I was exhausted.

A nurse was offering me a wheelchair, but I told her I didn't need it, instead I enjoyed the feel of Bones' arm tightly wrapped around my waist as we left the room together.

Sitting in Bones' car I suddenly felt nervous.

She glanced at me, and I could see her face reflected my feelings.

"Do you want to stay at my place?" she finally asked. "We could stop by yours and get some of your stuff," she had averted her eyes and looked straight ahead as she spoke. "Or we could go to your place… together."

I realized this was something we probably should have decided before leaving the hospital.

"Uh I… I don't know Bones…" I said. "Hey I don't really need…"

She cut me off, knowing exactly what I was getting at. "Yes you do. You promised the doctor you wouldn't be alone," she said. "Okay, you're coming with me," she decided at last.

XxxxX

Lying in Bones' sofa with her on the floor next to me felt strange. I wanted to sit up, but I was just too tired. I could barely raise an arm.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked.

I shook my head no. All I wanted right now was to rest. Stopping by my place earlier and packing some of my things had exhausted me. Smiling weakly at her, I couldn't help but appreciate everything she'd done for me, even though I couldn't shake the awkwardness.

She reached out touching my face. "Are you sure you're feeling ok?" she asked for about the seventh time. "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine Bones, just tired," I repeated the words I had told her all seven times before. I wasn't sure they were the truth though. I didn't feel all that great, but I didn't want her to know.

None of us spoke in a while; she had turned and was staring off into space. I watched her carefully. "Bones?" I asked. There was no answer. I wasn't sure she had even heard me. Reaching out, I lay a hand on her shoulder. She jumped, startled by my touch.

"Sorry," I whispered. "I didn't mean to scare you."

She turned and smiled at me. "I'm just being silly," she mumbled. I tried shaking my head which wasn't an easy maneuver lying down.

"What did he do to you Bones?" I whispered, watching her flinch at my words. Shifting so I was lying on my side, I looked at her before continuing. "You can tell me."

She looked down and it took a long time before she turned her eyes back on me. As she did, I could see tears brimming in them. She blinked rapidly, trying desperately to not cry.

Fear shot through me then. I was no longer sure I even wanted to hear it. "Temperance?" I whispered. "Don't tell me he…" my voice broke. There was no way I could even bring myself to say the word.

She seemed to know what I was thinking though, and she shook her head. "No, he didn't rape me if that's what you wondered… he just…he…" her voice trailed off.

I let out a breath I wasn't even aware of holding. "Give me your hand." She looked puzzled, but did as I said. I took it in mine and squeezed it. I smiled, speaking in a soft voice. "You can tell me now."

She frowned. "What, you think holding my hand will make it easier?"

I nodded and she snorted. But she smiled too. Then she sighed, taking a deep breath before starting to talk.

When she was done, a few tears were rolling down her cheeks. I wanted to wipe them away, but didn't want to let go of her hand.

"I'm sorry Bones," I whispered instead. "I'm sorry I couldn't come to you sooner."

"It's not your fault, don't be sorry," she whispered back. She sniveled then, wiping her eyes dry with her free hand. "I'm so stupid," she muttered. "This is nothing… I've been captive before and nearly killed… I shouldn't be so…"

I shushed her. She looked at me with big sad eyes.

"Baby," I whispered, surprising both of us by the choice of word. "You're not stupid. Come here."

I started to pull her up and realized pretty soon she was helping me, making the task easy for me. I couldn't help but smile. Even when she was upset she thought of me first. She didn't want me to strain myself too much and literally crawled up onto the couch to curl up next to me, just to keep me from having to drag her up.

Thankful that the sofa was wide enough for both of us, I wrapped one arm around her and pulled her close, her back pressed against my front.

She didn't say anything more, and I didn't push her into talking. Instead I held her, hoping she knew that I was there for her whenever she needed me.

The redhead had survived the fall with a cracked skull. He was going to be fine though. I almost wished he wouldn't. Because it would mean that someday he would be out there again, and who knew whether he'd try to kidnap Bones again. I couldn't stand the thought of him as much as looking at her ever again. Knowing now what he had done, made me wish I had killed him when I'd had a chance. I had promised myself that I wouldn't let anyone hurt her again, and though he hadn't exactly harmed her, he had still hurt her. Abused her, mentally and sexually. Though nothing major, at least what Bones had told me, but still enough to make me want to put a bullet through his brain. Just thinking of him touching her, kissing her against her will disgusted me; filled me with so much anger.

"I know what you're thinking," she suddenly said.

I snorted. "I doubt that."

"You're angry with _him_; I can feel your tense muscles."

"I'm not just angry Bones, I… I want to _kill_ him," I confessed.

She surprised me with a soft laugh. Then she shifted, or tried, it wasn't easy turning around without actually falling off the couch. But she managed, and finally ended up on her side, facing me. I held on to her, afraid she would fall.

"Hey," I whispered and smiled. She was so close to me, I could feel her breath against my skin, smell the scent of shampoo in her hair.

She smiled back. "You're always the alpha male; always want to protect your women."

I couldn't help but smile, amused by her words. Only there was one flaw. "Women?" I asked. "Bones, there is only one woman for me. You know I meant it when I… uh said I love you."

"You were barely conscious," she whispered, remembering. I nodded. "But I knew what I was saying. I meant every word."

She nodded. "So did I," she said at last.

I smiled at that, letting my hand run through her hair. She looked at me and our eyes met. I slowly closed the tiny gap there was between us wanting to kiss her. But I stopped abruptly and pulled my head back.

"What is it?" she asked, puzzled.

I stared at her, frowning. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "It's too soon, after what he…" I was just as abruptly cut off.

"Don't!" she almost snapped. "Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't feel."

This time I was the one staring. I was shocked.

Next time she spoke, her voice was softer. "I trust you Booth; probably no other man at the time, but I do trust you. So don't tell me that it's too soon. It's way too late," she blurted and I kept on staring, not believing my ears.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

We leaned in simultaneously. The kiss was soft and sweet and I wanted it to go on forever. Kissing Bones made me forget everything else. The tiredness, the nausea and all the pain, nothing mattered at that moment. Nothing but her.

XxxxX

**_TBC_**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

I enjoyed staying with Bones maybe a bit more than I should. And as the days passed by, I was starting to feel a little stronger. Still far from normal, but at least I could sit up without feeling like I had to throw up, and walking across the apartment didn't exhaust me anymore.

This morning, Bones had gone back to work, but I was on the sick-list for at least another two weeks. It annoyed me. Of course I was sure I wouldn't be able to do my job with much success at the time. But I still didn't like the fact that people thought I was too sick. Because I wasn't, right?

"Hey Booth," I looked up and saw Bones looking down at me. Frowning, I sat up, leaning back against the cushions.

"I didn't expect you to be home so soon," I said, and as the words left my mouth I regretted them. I hadn't been staying with her _that_ long, but I was already calling it home. I almost felt embarrassed thinking of it. Smiling sheepishly at her, I waited for her to say something.

"I was…" she began. "I thought… there wasn't much to do." She finally said, sitting down next to me.

I smiled, knowing for sure she was lying. There was always something to do at work, especially for Bones.

"You missed me?"

She stared. "No I…" her voice trailed off and she frowned. "I wanted to see if you were okay," she finally admitted. "And…" she sat down in the sofa glancing at me, then looked away before she went on. "Maybe I did miss you a little bit" she confessed at last.

Reaching out I cupped her face, forcing her to look at me. "I missed you too."

Without speaking, she leaned in and kissed me. Her lips were soft and warm against mine. My hand went to the back of her head and the other hand found its way in under her top, slowly running across the smooth skin of her back. She tensed and I froze, momentarily horrified at what I'd done, but she relaxed just as quick.

She kissed me again, this time with more force and passion than she'd ever used on me before. My head was spinning, this time from something much better than a fever. I liked it, needed it. Kissing Bones was like a drug to me. I just couldn't get enough of her.

But as she started to unbutton my shirt, I realized I had to stop her. No matter what she made it seem like I wasn't convinced she was ready for more intimate actions, and I certainly didn't want our first time together to be tainted by nausea and pain. I didn't want to feel this… weak.

"Bones," I murmured in between kisses, trying at the same time to create a little more space between us.

"Bones, wait," I pulled away, she looked back at me and frowned.

"What?" she asked. "Are you in pain?"

I couldn't help but chuckle. I shook my head. "But... you know... I don't feel..."

She cut me off as she understood. "Sorry, I didn't think. You're too weak."

I snorted, not sure whether I should be amused or offended. "I'm not too weak for _that_," I said, feeling the need to defend myself. "It's just... I want to be..." I couldn't say it. But luckily I didn't need to. She understood. She removed her hands from my chest, leaning back in the sofa. Sighing, she let her head rest against my shoulder.

"What's going to happen now?" she said after a while of silence.

"With what?"

"This... us."

I didn't know what to say. What did she want me to say?

She continued. "Being in a romantic relationship wouldn't work, right?"

"I... why not?"

"Well..." she looked confused, almost as if she had expected me to say no. "We're partners, we work together, it wouldn't..." her voice trailed off. She shifted so she was looking at me. "I don't think that's even allowed."

"I don't care Bones. I don't care." She looked at me without speaking, so I went on. "Maybe we shouldn't think too much, just... you know... roll with it. Take one day at time, just let it happen. What do you say?"

She smiled then, a bit hesitant, but it was enough to warm my heart, making me believe in a better life. A life with her in it. Because right now that was all I was asking for. All that mattered.

XxxxX

_**THE END **_

_**A/N: So I thought I'd end it here. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! **_


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